As It Comes

As It Comes
5-04-17

There was a time I thought of him in every moment of the day,
The little man he could have been had life not gotten in the way.
My heart was heavy, sore and sad, it weighed me to the ground,
I startled like a frightened deer at every tiny sound.

Grief held my heart hostage in its grip of icy pain and power,
As I lay there barely lucid and counting every hour.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stand the light…
But then again I had no energy even in the night.

I would have cried him dams of tears had the opportunity arisen,
But all I had were circling memories in the barren wasteland 'numb' had given;
Though to this day I think my heart had to be numb in order to survive and cope.
A little numb brings with it calm and a tiny ray of hope.

As days clocked by I learned that sleep heals many open sores,
And time will pass, no matter what, and slowly open doors.
Calmness brings with it a rosy tint through which to look and see,
That what I have left is more than most, though it's now left to mere memory.

I turned not to the bottle, I turned not to the knife,
I turned not to religion to heal the scars of strife.
At first I turned upon myself with scathing words and blame,
But the time that ticked on showed me that these things are not all the same.

So as time passed I learned to sleep, I learned to eat and wake.
I learned to forgive myself a little, merely for forgiveness's sake.
I learned that what I had was special, will last me through my broken years,
Will last through all I think I don't have and all my dreams and fears.

Though my heart still bears the burden of his untimely demise,
I've learned that time heals slowly, I've come to realise
That grief lasts for a season, though winter comes with quite a cost,
But summer brings with it new things and a hope in what was lost.

If I have to pick a moral, a reason for this tale,
I would say, 'please carry on, please try hard to prevail'.
I would say, 'take things slowly, hurry not time's healing sun.'
And lastly, I would like to say, 'take everything as it comes.'