literature

At the End

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Literature Text

At the End
12-2-15

At the end of the rainbow, it’s said, there is gold
And you can attain it if you’re both brave and bold.
I beg to differ, I’m sorry, it’s true
But what’s at the end of your rainbow depends solely on you.

For some it’s a room filled with electronic do-dads,
For others a place where they can go creatively mad.
But for me, it’s quite simple, wherever I roam;
At the end of my rainbow is the place I call home.

For now it’s a room with two desks and a shelf,
Full of books and photos of dead baby and self.
A PC, a printer and things I must do,
A calendar, lights and some Winnie the Pooh.

Maybe one day my books’ll have some space to roam
And I'll finally have a library of my very own.
And one day, in the future, I’ll have a man and a marriage
And photos of children instead of a miscarriage.
For the contest "A The End of the Rainbow" by Feraligatr66
Info here: At the End of the Rainbow (Contest)

Poetry, 16 lines divided into 4 quatrains. Spaces not included.

Not sure whether it's a happy poem or a sad one. I think it morphed along the way into something other than what I originally intended. Perhaps if I had more lines I might have morphed it back. Dunno.
© 2015 - 2024 MagicalJoey
Comments20
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RogueMudblood's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

My first impression of the poem, reading the first few lines through the thumb window before the deviation loaded after clicking, was playfulness. The rhythm you've used and the rhyme scheme remind me very much of Dr. Seuss, especially with the line
I beg to differ, I'm sorry, it's true
That line set the thought in my mind, so I did read it the rest of the poem with the swinging rhythm of a children's book.

I find that to be ironic given the ending of the poem. You do move from a hopeful, almost jolly, introspection to something far more personal and encompassing. It moves the piece from the generalized feel you began it with to a much more subjective viewpoint. I think that strengthens this particular piece, and I bring that up because you mentioned you might have made it go back out full circle if the length requirements for the contest hadn't hindered you from doing so.

You employed brilliant imagery in your language here, evoking an incredibly emotional response in the reader. The melancholy of the last two stanzas only adds to the mystique of that elusive rainbow. Brilliant job filling the prompt, and wonderful piece regardless! Thanks for sharing it.