literature

Come Lord Jesus, Come

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Come Lord Jesus, Come
6-6-16

I’m free from the devil and from my past,
But unless I accept it, this freedom won’t last,
And I’ll feel the return of these bindings and chains,
As I wonder why freedom’s escaped me again.

I hear all the stories, the verses and words,
But am I really listening, or are they just things that I’ve heard?
Unless my heard turns away from its unresponsive stone,
I’ll continually wonder why I’m always alone.

I’ll wonder the who’s, where’s, what’s and why’s,
Unmoved in demeanour, no tears in my eyes,
With a heart full of granite, no wailings or cries –
And You’ll just be someone far away in the skies.

If I’m free from my shackles, free from what binds,
Why can’t I feel it? Why do I find
That love has escaped me, and freedom’s not near?
I’m supposed to be free…but I’m shackled by fear.

Free from my numbness, from past, pain and panic,
Free from what holds me, God you’re the mechanic
Who fills me with fuel so my life’s engine can do,
All that’s required of a life filled with You.

I’m free from the shackles of emotions long gone,
But unless it is real, I’ll never get on
With this life, I’ll not be free from my pain,
And my past will keep haunting again and again.

I’m free from the devil and from my past,
But unless I accept it, this freedom won’t last,
And I’ll feel the return of these bindings once more,
As I wonder why freedom’s merely a closed door.
So, tonight's sermon was part #3 of the Gospel series they're doing. Today it was all about Redemption (freedom from slavery/bondage/chains/shackles - whatever you care to call it) and what struck me was that Josh (who was preaching) mentioned that one of the things we are free from is our past. I have a...colourful...past (as you might be able to see from my poetry) dotted with many instances of depressive episodes, poor choices, shame, guilt, grief, manic (my kind of manic) episodes etc. so it struck me that while I don't have any 'major' sins that I am currently practicing (in the sense of 'God can't forgive me for that because it's so big' thinking) my past does hold me back somewhat because I am so scared that people will find out about it and judge me...because there is some big stuff there.
That being said, there is a 'dangerous' part of me that doesn't fear judgement. That 'why should I care, really' attitude that sometimes comes out and rears its ugly little head. Almost pride, definitely arrogance. But anyway, logic abounds and feelings fail (as always these days) and so this poem was born.
© 2016 - 2024 MagicalJoey
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pearwood's avatar
Yes and amen. Ours this evening was on Psalm 30 and Luke 7, the raising of the son of the widow of Nain. Healing.

This mornings was on the closing verses of Romans 8, the most glorious theological affirmation, methinks, of the entire New Testament -- nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.