Concentration Lapse
~An Accidental Eye~
[9 – Cut]
2-04-08

Her heart couldn’t breathe.
Slowly asphyxiated by the unseen python of pain, her heart
Struggled for breath as it was constricted by the weight of the emotion coiled around it.

She only wanted to breathe, to let the pain slither away.
Not her final breath; not this time. Not to go Home; not this time.

The only way to breathe was to cut. Sever the coils of emotional pain that
Suffocated her heart; but only deep enough to let the ANTS and pain flow out.
Deep enough to feel.

A beautiful blade held in a trembling hand, but she smiled as she held it...a rare, real, smile
At what she knew was coming next. She raised her hand, and began conducting her symphony
Of peace.

It’s flat edge sharp against her fat skin; the routine performance she knew off-by-heart.
Except...except this night her heart’s concentration was out of sync with the music;
The baton changed its grip, unnoticed.

The blade’s point is painless into skin like nothing; like cutting air. Now a red eye
Watches her from her arm, and weeps her blood-breaths onto the shower floor.
“Oh Shit!”

She sat. Trying to sort out what must be done...but her ducks were scattered and
Would not come into a row.
She sat.

For three hours she sat alone, with the eye now blinded by a tissue held on with
Sticky-tape.  Three hours debating whether the pain of the anger and the upsetting
Of telling was worth it.

But the eye was sad, and it would not stop crying. She bandaged it herself, and still it
Wept its dribbling, scarlet, gasping, sobs. So she took on the pain of telling, and told,
For the stitched reward of 11 permanent eyelashes.

She is in trouble with herself, the ADD fool who lost concentration, and with
Those who are angry at the mistake.

She only wanted to breathe,
She never meant to take such a deep breath.