GNF - Apostrophes

The Grammar Nazi Files:
Part #2: The Apostrophe:.
_{Most information from:
Truss, L. 2007 Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.Great Britain: Profile Books
Rose, A. & Purkis, R. 1991. English Grammar: A reference book for schools and colleges. Pietermaritzburg: Shuter & Shooter}

The first thing to know is that there are rules (laws) against imprisoning apostrophes within incorrect sentences and making them look stupid. We will look into them later – there are nine of them.

Before we delve deeper though, it is good to start with the fundamental law: AN APOSTROPHE NEVER INDICATES A PLURAL WORD.
E.g. horse's, if plural, should be horses.

The apostrophe has always done its proper job in language with enthusiasm and grace, but it has never been taken seriously enough. Too many jobs have been heaped upon this tiny mark (the nine rules), and instead of complaining the apostrophe quietly mumbles 'more weight'. Isn't it time to recognise that the apostrophe needs our help to make sure that it is used properly.

Before we look at the nine rules of apostrophes, let's look at 'Possessive Determiners" and "Possessive Pronouns" ... none of which require an apostrophe.

Possessive Determiners:
1. My becomes the plural our
2. Your becomes the plural your
3. His becomes the plural their
4. Hers becomes the plural their
5. Its becomes the plural their

Possessive Pronouns:
1. Mine becomes the plural ours
2. Yours becomes the plural yours
3. His becomes the plural theirs
4. Hers becomes the plural theirs
5. Its becomes the plural theirs

The Nine Apostrophe Rules:

Number One: Indicates the Omission of Letters
_{For those interested in history, this was the apostrophe's only function during Shakespearian times.}
E.g. let's, she'd've, can't, won't

It's generally accepted that familiar contractions such as flu (influenza) and phone (telephone), etc, no longer require apostrophes.

The most famous of all the contractions (omission of letters) is the word 'it's'. It has more than one meaning and can stand for it is or it has.
NB: Important: Note: If the "its" doesn't stand for either of the above then IT DOES NOT GET AN APOSTROPHE. It is a terrible crime in the world of punctuation to get your "itses" mixed up.

Number Two: Indicates the Possessive for Singular Nouns:
E.g. The boy's hat. (the hat belonging to the boy)
The girl's pens. (the pens belonging to the girl)
NOTE: When the addition of an 's to a singular noun produces an ugly hissing sound the s is dropped and only the apostrophe is used.
E.g. Moses'
Jesus'

Number Three: Indicates the Possessive for Plural Nouns:
E.g. The princesses' jewels. (the jewels of all the princesses)
The boys' ball. (the ball belonging to all the boys)
NOTE: For irregular plurals that don't end in an s add an 's.
E.g. Men's trousers (the trousers of the men)
Children's games (the games of all the children)
_{Again for the historians amongst us, the singular possession appeared in the 17th Century and the plural in the 18th.}

Number Four: Indicates Time or Quantity:
E.g. One week's time.
Two week's notice.
Four meter's worth.

Number Five: Suggests Possession by Inanimate and Abstract Nouns:
E.g. Yesterday's paper (the paper belonging to yesterday)
The earth's surface (the surface belonging to the earth)

Number Six: To Form Plurals of Words and Alphabet Letters that Don't have a Plural Form:
E.g. p's and q's
If's and but's

Number Seven: Indicates the Omission of Figures in Dates:
E.g. The summer of '97.
The snowfall of '83.

Number Eight: Indicates Strange, Non-Standard English:
E.g. You can't keep 'im 'ere'.
Usually used in the speech of a Cockney or a peasant.

Number Nine: It Features in Irish Names:
E.g. O'Neil, O'Casey

Only one job has been removed from the apostrophe's shoulders; it no longer needs to appear in the plurals of abbreviations (although this is still used in America and other parts of the world).
E.g. MPs or 1980s

One may say that the full stop (period) is the male of the punctuation world (do one job at a time; do it well; forget about it instantly), whereas the apostrophe is the multitasking female.

The apostrophe may be hard to understand, but if we abolish it then it is a guarantee that we will need it in a few hours.

Also note that some spellcheckers will mark it as incorrect even if you know you are using the apostrophe correctly. In this case, ignore your spellchecker.

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Next: The Grammar Nazi Files Part #3: The Comma.