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Ghost-Threads
8-12-11
100 Themes #17 - Vengeance
You gave us ghost-threads of hope,
dangled us over the waste basket,
and cut the strings;
where did you think we'd fall?
You fed us seeds of peace,
then mixed some Ratex into it
and stood back to watch the chaos;
what did you think would happen?
You gave us ghost-threads of hope,
and seeds of peace,
and then suffocated us with terror
as you pulled it all away.
Oh how I would love to enact revenge!
Dangle you over a precipice
and see what happens.
Feed you poisonous words
and see how your stomach copes.
8-12-11
100 Themes #17 - Vengeance
You gave us ghost-threads of hope,
dangled us over the waste basket,
and cut the strings;
where did you think we'd fall?
You fed us seeds of peace,
then mixed some Ratex into it
and stood back to watch the chaos;
what did you think would happen?
You gave us ghost-threads of hope,
and seeds of peace,
and then suffocated us with terror
as you pulled it all away.
Oh how I would love to enact revenge!
Dangle you over a precipice
and see what happens.
Feed you poisonous words
and see how your stomach copes.
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Based on how I feel for someone who gave my dad a job and then fired him after two weeks for being 'too structured' (HTF can an accountant be too structured!)
© 2011 - 2024 MagicalJoey
Comments2
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I'm not going to give this a full critique, as it sounds like it is something that is still quite personal and relevant in your life. It also sounds like a completely suck-ass situation. I'm sorry your family is going through it. 
I will say that while the emotion comes through quite vividly, I think you could do well with revisiting the piece after some reflection. Right now it reads more like a rant than a poem, which is understandable since you're angry and probably just blowing off steam. But later, ask yourself some questions, like how did your dad handle the news? Did he let it break him down? Or did he just keep looking for work and try to make his family proud? Did the actions of thiscomplete prick person do any permanent damage? Or is it something you will walk away from stronger and smarter for the experience? I think working some of that into your poem would make it much more relate-able for a general audience.
Good luck to your and your father. I hope he finds a better situation soon.
I will say that while the emotion comes through quite vividly, I think you could do well with revisiting the piece after some reflection. Right now it reads more like a rant than a poem, which is understandable since you're angry and probably just blowing off steam. But later, ask yourself some questions, like how did your dad handle the news? Did he let it break him down? Or did he just keep looking for work and try to make his family proud? Did the actions of this
Good luck to your and your father. I hope he finds a better situation soon.