Metal Box of Life
~59 – No Way Out~
4-05-08
(The quote “illusion of perfection” is from the same-titled poem by Pyrox666xPheebs, all other quotes are from the poem “Sweet Escapism” by In-September.)

She tries desperately, daily, to force upon the world
Her “illusion of perfection”...
The illusion that her world is not a dank, dark and scary place,
And that she does not constantly cry to a deaf, dead heaven.

She knows, oh...somewhere inside her
Is something that knows, she is
‘Actually the one avoiding reality.’
Not the world she force-feeds her illusion to.
With every fighting cell she possesses
She is trying to avoid reality:
Reality for her equals feelings...
Things more worrisome and painful
To even comprehend or cope with.

‘Hiding in the sweet sphere of escapism’
She very quickly loses touch with herself.
‘Loses grip’ on what is real...
On what she truly feels.
‘But it is better not to feel,’
There is surely ‘nothing as blissful
As losing yourself’...
...because even fear and guilt and pain will be lost
When feelings are forgotten.

There is a question she ponders:
‘Who ever ordered her
To disapprove of her illusions?’
The feeling-less days that keep her alive?
...she did.
She disapproved, and ordered disapproval.
She is a demon, a monster.
Her life is the hell in which she hides.
She only fights herself...
And she is the only one whose disapproval matters
In the end.

‘All the imaginary reality she had
Was soft and sound...
And threatened by her feelings’
Feelings destroyed her world,
Now she destroys them before they can destroy her further.

But does she?

To keep safe she escapes,
But where can she go to escape herself?