Money Couldn't Buy Me

Money Couldn't Buy Me
8-11-10

It all revolved around money – every
Word you uttered,
Every lament you lamented.
Every gift you brought bore the invisible label:
I wasted what I could have saved
To buy you this.

Money was the centre of your universe,
Not love.
I would have lived with you in a cardboard box
Out on the street in the rain...
So great was my love for you!
But love wasn't money,
So you ignored it.

If you stay so stubborn,
So hard-hearted and immobile,
If your attitude doesn't change
And your mind,
Once made,
Stays so impeccable and unwrinkled
You could bounce people off it – injuring
The people but not wrinkling your plan – if
Nothing changes in you,
Love will never be enough.
You may get your perfect trophy companion,
But you will still wonder why you are lonely and alone.

You had your plans,
And your plans were engraved deeper into stone
Than the ten commandments.
Six 'simple' steps:
Did you ever think that maybe the plan
Wasn't realistic?
That maybe the gradient between each step
Was too steep,
Or the gap too large?

Firstly, step #1:
Get a Job That Pays Loads of Money:
I trolled through job advertisements
For a position I didn't understand,
Just to help you on your 'six-steps-to-happiness'.
But you forgot that you were newly qualified,
Inexperienced,
And when the salary wasn't as high as you expected,
And the deductions were higher than what you were used to,
Which was nothing,
You became moody, angry.
It was my fault.
If I wanted to eat out, we couldn't afford it.
If I wanted you to visit, you couldn't afford the petrol.
Money fuelled your desires;
You could save for a brand new PC,
Or a new screen because your 24'' was 'too small',
But you couldn't get me a single daisy
Without wincing.

Did you ever wonder why I bought you things
When we both knew I couldn't afford them?
I was trying to show you that plans can change
Due to circumstance,
And that new plans can be made.
Forever meant forever to me;
I would have followed you to the grave – but
The money that had already won your heart
And you were already dead inside.

Secondly, step #2:
Buy a House:
Even my parents tried to tell you,
That buying a house straight away wasn't ever going to work.
You would need to work many years
To have that kind of money.
But you were set in your plan,
And though the world changed
Your plan couldn't,
Wouldn't.
It had to be a house,
Not a flat,
And you had to buy it,
Not rent it.

The fact that I would have loved you
No matter where you lived
Didn't cause you to flicker an emotion:
Love isn't everything,
You said.
Love can't buy you what you need,
You said.
But what if love is what you need?

Thirdly, step #3:
Move Girlfriend into House:
This was your idea of testing compatibility,
Of seeing if the love was true:
If she could bear your snores,
She loved you.
If she liked the house you owned,
And marvelled at your wealth,
She loved you.
The more you made money your focus,
The colder and harder you became;
Talking to you was like banging my head against a wall,
Believing that you loved me, not your income,
Was about as easy as clotting the wound of a haemophiliac.
And it became harder to love you.

Love should have come first,
Not money.
I didn't love you because of what you owned,
I didn't love you because of your material worth,
I loved you because of who I thought you were inside.
It's just sad that I was so wrong:
You really should go in to acting – you
Had me and my entire family fooled
Into thinking you were a mature,
Decent, human being.

Fourthly, step #4:
Get Engaged to Girlfriend:
...on three conditions:
First, she passed the test in step #3,
Second, she looked like a model so you could show her off to your friends,
And third, you were 35 years old or older.

Where is love allowed to come in,
If you will never deviate from your plan
And will only get engaged at step #4...
...in 10 years time or more?
You would have the wealth,
You would have the house,
You would have the trophy to put in your bed each night,
But you would never have love.

Fifthly, step #5:
Marry Fiancé:
If she passed step #3,
If you are 35 or older,
If she is a trophy.

Love was never factored in, was it?
And neither was life.

Finally, step #6:
Have Kids:
Only if the wife insists,
Which she won't because it will break her hourglass,
Because you hate kids...
...and no matter how much money you have,
You could never afford them anyway;
Kids don't thrive on money,
They thrive on love.
And love is too expensive – because
You can't put a price on it,
Or give it as a present to shut someone up.

Your plans didn't factor in life,
Love,
Humanity.
And, when life intervened,
You shooed it away like an annoying bug
Because it didn't fit into your plan.
Your plan couldn't be altered around the circumstances,
The circumstances had to somehow fix themselves
And revolve around your plan.

You planned your life around money;
Acquiring it and buying things with it,
But money doesn't make you happy
And it can't buy you love.
It can buy you sex,
But not love.

And it certainly couldn't buy me.