Back Into It
31-12-12
I wrote it out of you this morning,
The urge to die,
But now it plagues me.
As the time ticks towards the year’s passing,
I wonder how much more my mind can handle –
How many more issues will institutionalise me?
I can hear your voice,
Telling me to think of the ones left behind,
But in the moment of such pain
There is nobody but me.
Pain sends its sharpened, icy fingers through my heart again,
As I remember him, both of them,
And I realise that I will start the year as I ended it;
Alone.
I wrote you out of it this morning,
But I am writing myself right back into it.
Hold Your Pain
30-12-12
Broken angel, twisted wings,
‘Fraid of what tomorrow brings.
Fallen frigid from the sky;
Can’t get back; oh how you try.
Magic’s fading, strength is gone,
Don’t know how you’ll carry on.
Look up within your darkest night,
And see the faces framed in light.
Especially at this time of year,
When we celebrate those whom we hold dear,
By giving gifts of love and joy,
To each and every girl and boy.
No matter size, no matter age,
We parade joy upon Christmas’s stage.
So look up from your little realm of Hell,
At the those whose demons you helped to quell.
And in this time of celebrat
Oh, My Angel
30-12-12
Angel: A kind, charming, lovable person
You’re an angel by definition and name,
Yet your wings have been shredded so many time
It’s hard to see the feathers through the blood;
Hold on Angel,
There are those who surround you
With their broken-winged companionship,
And who will love you until the end,
No matter what happens or has happened.
Oh my Angel,
My darling friend,
Don’t give up,
‘Tis not your end.
Lift up your eyes,
From the depths of Hell,
And watch those who care,
Those whose love swells.
As you scurry to gather scattered feathers,
In hopes of building your wings anew,
Don’t re
Missing Love
29-12-12
I found a photograph of you today,
While I was printing one of your son..
Our son.
And now you reside behind him
In the frame I bought for you
And the photo your mother
So generously let me take home;
Your smile still the same,
Even if the hair is different.
And I realised that I miss love,
Not necessarily your love,
But being loved.
Someone who accepts me for who I am
And sees the beauty behind the big bones.
Someone whose soul I can share,
Whose mind moulds with mine
To become one person in thought and deed.
I miss the simple things;
Holding hands and hugs
That come unexpectedly from behind,
Yet in the back of my mi
My Skin is not as Thick as my Waist by MagicalJoey, literature
Literature
My Skin is not as Thick as my Waist
My Skin is not as Thick as my Waist
28-12-12
My skin is not as thick as my waist,
And my heart is thinner still;
Be careful what you speak,
Least sharp words puncture paper-membranes
And abolish arteries.
My skin is not as thick as my waist,
And though I may be smiling
My face is a facade;
An egg perching precariously on a table-top,
Where words can easily flick it off.
My skin is not as thick as my waist,
So let this be a warning;
Words spat on papyrus hearts
Cause irreparable damage;
Scars that cannot be seen,
But will always be remembered.
Be careful what you say
And how you say it;
My skin is not as thick as my waist.
Really Broken
25-12-12
“My heart is low, my heart is so low,
As only a woman’s heart can be.”
In five minutes it won’t be Christmas anymore,
But I will still miss you.
I have visions of the wrappings you enjoy ripping apart,
The toys you’d play with.
A smile,
A toothless laugh...
And then reality brings back its harsh truth;
You will never see a Christmas.
You died and was then sucked from my body
As if you meant nothing to anybody.
But you meant something to me,
And all I have are two fading sonograms
To show what you could have been,
And a month of memories and foolish plans
For where we’d have your c
Tainted Christmas
25-12-12
I want to love you, and I want to believe
Like I did when I was a child,
But I am tainted by life’s reality
That harshness and pain follow the risk-takers and the trusters.
So I don’t trust anyone, not you...
...especially not after 2010.
Why did you give me a miracle,
A tiny baby-boy-bean,
Only to tear him from me at 10 weeks
So that his lifeless form had to be sucked out of me
Through a tube?
Do you know he would have been born around about my birthday?
Do you know that he would have turned one this year?
We could have gone looking for santa,
And opened presents together
Under our tiny plastic tree.
Secret Heart
25-12-12
You’re stuck in my mind
Like gum to the sidewalk,
You’ll only come off if someone pulls hard enough,
And even then not entirely.
I’ve tried erasing you,
But I’ve only got a broken board duster
And a creaky, squeaky board of memories;
A heart you are imprinted on.
If I would tell you how much you still mean to me,
Would you leave her,
The one you moved on with,
And come back to the one who gave herself for you?
Would you appreciate the love-notes under cups of tea,
Or would you chuck them away as if then mean nothing?
Would you come back,
Or are we too damaged for each other?
Yet still I love
Sky’s Dimples
10-12-12
Flames lick the horizon,
Turning the sea
A mixture of orange-red-yellow
As it mimics the sky;
Both becoming ever darker
As the day’s star sets.
Another horizon;
The sea begins to sparkle with silver,
As if a million fish were dancing on the surface.
The moon shows her face,
And the sky’s bright dimples
Twinkle in return.