30 MAY 2008:

ONE new poem

80 poems to go...

List one and all poems found here: [link]

Completed on or after 11 February 2008
Competed on or after 2 April 2008
Completed on or after 28 May 2008

The List:
1. Introduction [link]
2. Love [link]
3. Light [link]
4. Dark [link]
5. Rot
6. Break
7. Heaven
8. Away
9. Cut [link]
10. Breathe [link]
11. Memory [link]
12. Insanity [link]
13. Misfortune
14. Smile [link]
15. Silence
16. Spit
17. Blood
18. Under
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. War
22. Mother
23. Distastefull
24. Want
25. Lurking
26. Europe
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Urban
30. Rain [link]
31. Flower
32. Night
33. Wrath
34. Moon
35. Walk
36. Precious
37. See
38. Abandoned
39. Dream
40. 4:29 PM
41. Citric Acid
42. Still
43. Die [link]
44. Two Roads
45. Two Guns
46. Drop
47. Dirt
48. Young
49. Preservatives
50. Breaking the Rules [link]
51. Sport
52. Old
53. Desecrate
54. Tower
55. Need
56. Biohazard
57. Sacrificial
58. Kick in the Heart
59. No Way Out [link]
60. Desert
61. Fairy Tale
62. Voodoo
63. Do Not Disturb
64. City
65. Horrorific
66. Snow
67. Drum
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. %
71. Obsession
72. Mislead
73. I. Can't.
74. Confrontation
75. Mirror
76. Broken
77. Testament
78. Drink
79. FUCK [alternatively "Balk"]
80. Words [link]
81. Pen and Paper
82. +
83. Heal
84. Cold
85. Sick
86. Seeing Red
87. Hunger
88. Pain [link]
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle [link]
91. Drown
92. Rape [link]
93. Iron
94. Soft
95. Advertisement [link]
96. Storm
97. Safety
98. Puzzle [link]
99. Alone
100. Gone [link]

9 February 2008
Seven new poems for the list.

...0 to go... LIST ONE IS COMPLETE

= completed before 12-07-07
= completed after 12-07-07
= completed after 31-08-07
= completed during or after January 2008

LIST 1/5:
1. Introduction [link]
2. Love [link]
3. Light [link]
4. Dark [link]
5. Seeking Solace [link] Revision #1 here [link] and Revision #2 here [link]
6. Break Away [link]
7. Heaven [link]
8. Innocence [link]
9. Drive [link]
10. Breathe Again [link]
11. Memory [link]
12. Insanity [link]
13. Misfortune [link]
14. Smile [link]
15. Silence [link]
16. Questioning [link]
17. Blood [link]
18. Rainbow [link]
19. Gray [link]
20. Fortitude [link]
21. Vacation [link]
22. Mother Nature [link]
23. Cat [link]
24. No Time [link]
25. Trouble Lurking [link]
26. Tears [Rips and Shreds] [link] [Leaky Soul] [link]
27. Foreign [link]
28. Sorrow [link]
29. Happiness [link]
30. Under the Rain [link]
31. Flowers [link]
32. Expectations [link]
33. Night [link]
34. Stars [link]
35. Hold My Hand [link]
36. Precious Treasure [link]
37. Eyes [link]
38. Abandoned [link]
39. Dreams [link]
40. Rated [link]
41. Teamwork [link]
42. Standing Still [link]
43. Dying [link]
44. Two Roads [link]
45. Illusion [link]
46. Family [link]
47. Creation [link]
48. Childhood [link]
49. Stripes [link]
50. Breaking the Rules [link]
51. Sport [link]
52. Deep in Thought [link]
53. Keeping a Secret [link]
54. Tower [link] Visual Poem here: [link]
55. Waiting [link]
56. Danger Ahead [link]
57. Sacrifice [link]
58. Kick in the Head [link]
59. No Way Out [link]
60. Rejection [link]
61. Fairy Tale [link]
62. Magic [link]
63. Do Not Disturb [link]
64. Multitasking [link]
65. Horror [link]
66. Traps [link]
67. Playing the Melody [link] Visual poem here: [link]
68. Hero [link]
69. Annoyance [link]
70. 67% [link]
71. Obsession [link]
72. Mischief Managed [link]
73. I Can't [link]
74. Are You Challenging Me? [link]
75. Mirror [link]
76. Broken Pieces [link]
77. Test [link]
78. Drink [link]
79. Starvation [link]
80. Words [link] and also [link]
81. Pen and Paper [link]
82. Can You Hear Me? [link]
83. Heal [link]
84. Out Cold [link]
85. Spiral [link]
86. Seeing Red [link]
87. Food [link]
88. Pain [link]
89. Through the Fire [link]
90. Triangle [link]
91. Drowning [link]
92. All That I Have [link]
93. Give Up [link]
94. Last Hope [link]
95. Advertisement [link]
96. In the Storm [link]
97. Safety First [link]
98. Puzzle [link]
99. Solitude [link]
100. Relaxation [link]

********** **********

For those of you looking for stock photos to use with visual poems or anything to complement your writing I have a stock account.

You can find it at:
~WrittenPhotographs

22-04-07

What do I do when pent-up emotions,
Threaten explosion unless they’re unleashed?
Where do I go to when feelings start flooding,
And the evil within me begs for release?

What will happen, I wonder, if I allow to continue,
The flood of my heart with feelings despised?
Will I last one more day on my quest for freedom,
Or will once-buried failures unbidden rise?

I cannot continue to bury emotions,
For they will not stay buried or jailed behind bars.
They threaten an out-pouring, over-riding my judgements,
And beg for bloody release in the creation of scars.

For the one who made writing hard
19-04-07

Writing is difficult now,
As with every words that walks
Upon my page
I see your face, as it was that day,
I hear your voice as you abandoned me.
You put into me a fear
That only you seem to have the power to eradicate:
Fear of letting my mind speak its burdens,
Letting my heart tell its woes.
Writing is difficult now,
As the rivers of ink flow out
Upon the pale paper-pages,
Because I am afraid.

I am afraid of you,
Your words, like ghosts,
Haunt and plague my heart.
With every stroke of this mighty
Inked sword
My heart is pierced again and again
And again by the words you spoke.
I want to prove myself to you,
That I am ‘positive’ enough for you to love me,
For your friendship,
But you deny me the only way I know how…
Text upon a page.
What if you judge me upon my words
And find me lacking…again?
Thus sentencing me to a life
Without the honesty
My heart craves.
I am afraid of you,
And so I cannot write with the ease
I once possessed.

I am afraid of writing,
Because of you.
You judged me upon my words
And now I fear others doing the same.
What if this pen creates something
So foul and negative
As it reflects my current state of mind
That it causes only disgust and hate?
And leaves the loss
Of the only two friends I have left
Within its wake.
I am afraid of writing,
Because if you abandoned me
What’s to stop them following in your footsteps?

And thus I try hard to cease this folly
That is to write
About feelings that are felt.
I internalise instead.
Burying all emotion as far down as it will go
Under previous layers upon layers
Of emotions I cannot allow myself
To feel.
And the emotions stew,
Brew, bubble,
Simmer, and
Build
Until they have to have an outlet somewhere
Some way
Some how…
How do I release this emotional torrent,
This volcano of feelings:
To cut or to write?

Thence, though I am ever fearful
Of your wrath,
And writing remains difficult,
I have but one choice...
To write.
And thus release the pressure
Until such times as it’s built up again.

I am fearful,
And writing is painfully difficult,
But when it comes time to choose,
Despite you and my fear,
I choose to write.

For the friend I lost somehow along the way
17-04-07

I see you there, sitting,
Laughing with the others.
Those who remain your friends.
I see you there, happily
Going about your business.
Then, you turn my way,
And my heart gives a small
Involuntary leap of hope
That maybe tonight will be the night
And as your eyes turn towards me…
You look straight through me
As if I am non-existant,
And once again my heart bleeds
As the knife called hope
Eviscerates me.

I see you there, supporting,
Comforting those whom you care for,
Those whom you have chosen to love
Despite their problems and pains.
I see you there, listening
To their troubles.
Raw emotion floods through my heart
As if my blood were transformed into feelings:
Jealousy – Why do they still get to have your love whilst I can only sit and watch?
Confusion – What have I ever done that caused you to hate me so much?
Anger – Why me? Why did you raise your standards for love ONLY for me?
Pain – To be abandoned by the friend I trusted the most.
Worry – What if you hurt the others like you hurt me?
I see you there, being
A good friend to all but me,
And I am flooded with emotions
That the sluice gates of my heart
Cannot control.

I see the ones you care for,
The ones you did not abandon,
The ones for whom God’s love was enough.
I see them and my heart weeps
With unanswered questions:
Why do you give them the right to openly speak of their trials,
Yet with a few sharp words you silenced me?
Why do you love them openly with the love of God,
Yet you raised the standards of Gods love so high for me
That I cannot possibly ever reach?
Why are they good enough to share freely with you,
Yet I will never be good enough now that you judged me,
Now that you branded me
With your brand.
Burned into my heart, forever,
Will be the words…
TOO NEGATIVE FOR FRIENDSHIP.
I see the ones you still love,
And as I see how you allow them
To openly share without fear
Of your judgement,
Something twists and breaks again
Within my heart…
Something that I cannot fix.

I am trying so hard to forgive you,
Trying so hard to forget the pain you caused,
Yet every time I see you,
You treat me differently
To those whom you have chosen
To continue loving:
You ignore me,
And leave me petrified
Of saying the wrong words in your presence.
You force out a cold, two-word greeting,
And leave me jealous of the warmth in your voice
As you use copious amounts of words
To greet everyone else.
You allow those others to be honest with you,
Whilst I must remain forever hidden
Behind my mask of fine,
My positive, happy face,
So as to avoid your wrath.
I see you, and I try so hard to forgive,
But you keep re-opening the wounds.

I see you there,
Giving comfort to those who need it,
And I long
To once again feel your arms
Around me in a hug filled with warmth and love,
Instead of the cold nod I sometimes now receive.
I long
To look into your eyes
And see the love and kindness
That they once held for me,
Instead of the judgement they hold now.

I see you there,
And I miss your friendship so much,
That my heart contracts in agony.
I see you there, happy,
Giving comfort,
Being honest and open.
I see you,
But you look through me
As if I don’t exist.
I see you there,
And whilst I feel all of the above,
My one wish,
Is that you would see me.